Blogtober, 2021. Playing Catch Up.

I’m behind, to no one’s surprise! Days 5-7 I need to write about, or do I not catch up? I just begin where I am today? Interesting concept.

Eh, I’ll just catch up.

Day 5: Family Life; Day 6: Quotes to Consider; Day 7: Money.

I never really used to imagine what my future family life would be like. I always imagined getting married, but never thought, really, about having kids. Was excited about pregnancy, knew I’d have natural births, knew I’d homeschool, but otherwise, never thought about raising kids, or how I wanted my family to be.

Unfortunately, thanks to social media, I have the highlight reels of other people’s family lives in my face, and I’m always worried that I’m not letting my kids live wild enough, or am I going to send them to therapy because I want them to eat their food in a timely way? I know that no one’s family life is pretty all the time, but I know that I could do better. Like the Proverbs 31 Woman.

The next problem with that though, is that I feel like I have to have everything organized and figured out in my head, PERFECTLY, before I try to implement anything into my real life. No room for trial and error in the real world, it must work out as perfectly as I saw it in my head.

This isn’t to say our family life is poor, but I know that certain things are missing, but I don’t know if they actually matter, or I just think they do because they matter to other people. I want to live in gratitude, and contentment, but still find myself grateful and discontent. Which, I suppose is an oxymoron. I just know I can be better at everything, and when I’m not, well. It feels like everyone is suffering because of it. Even if they’re really not.

I suppose I could harken back to an old favorite quote of mine, in regards to how I orchestrate or guide our family life. From the great Nora Ephron:

“Be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”

I’ll be honest, I could probably stand to remind myself of this more often. Maybe I should take up needlepoint, and put it on a pillow.

And honestly, what inevitably follows these feels of discontentment, is feeling like “well if I had more money it would be easier to make life the way I imagine it in my head.” Would it, Hannah? Would it, though? You know what they say: Mo money, mo problems.

Like, we all crave this simple life, especially these days, but wouldn’t that mean that you could need LESS money and be more fulfilled? Shouldn’t THAT be the goal? If I want a simpler life, why don’t I just go for it? What am I waiting for? What am I afraid of?

I’m sure I already know the answers to all these questions. You don’t need to tell me, lol.

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