Here we are.

We’ve officially left 2020. It’s 1am, on January 1st. So far, the worst thing about it is that it’s a 5-syllable year. Takes way too much time to say. 2017 was also a 5-syllable year, and we all know how 2017 went.

I have so many thoughts about the past year, that I don’t really know what to think. Politically, things are a thrilling insanity. Spiritually, it’s sort of the same, except more peaceful.

My mom asked me what my predictions were for the new year. I told her that for Christians, with a true, firmly founded faith? I think it’s going to be excellent. For people without Jesus, or with a weakly founded faith, I think it’s going to be awful. This could be said to be true any year, but this year specifically. We are in a time right now where the last thing you want to be, is not following Jesus. Things are going to only get more uncertain. More scary. The only way to have peace through it all is faith in Jesus.

Personally, I’m a bit of a soft, sensitive blob. This year has been very up and down, as far as my body is concerned. My weight, hormones, occasional bouts of depression, and anxiety (probably a result of said hormones.) I have a sense of determination for the new year, but I also just want to exist. I want any changes I make to just be natural, and just exist. I just want to BE.

I’m going to be 30 this Valentine’s Day. My 30th year. It’s weird that I’m finally arriving at this milestone, because as much as I’ve never dreaded it, it also never really felt like it would ever happen. Not being in my 20s anymore. I barely even remember when I turned 20. It was 2011…I was in my final semester of college, just after internship, and we were all emo as heck. I was also obsessed with a boy. I was definitely distracted. I think that was the year that my friend Danielle made me a dinosaur shaped card. I think we’re still friends, but who knows these days.

I need to move more. I just don’t want it to be a chore. I know that you have to push through sometimes but idk. Maybe I’m too idealistic. I need to settle into my role as a mom. I think I’ve been riding the line of mom and babysitter, and I really shouldn’t get away with that anymore. I’m almost a month into year 6 of marriage. That’s wild. Idk, I just see time in front of me, passing, all of a sudden.

I’ve been able to be creative this year, particularly with food. I’ve baked ~a lot~ of breads. I created a job managing social media, I headed up a big Operation Christmas Child shoebox collection. I got to travel, and take my first solo trip since getting married. My husband and I got to do a lot of anniversary celebrating, which was really nice. We also attended an anti-human trafficking demonstration together, which was very neat. I also headed up a women’s Bible study online for a couple months, which I enjoyed a lot. It was really quite a good year.

I’m excited about the new year. It’s starting on some very high, patriotic notes. I look forward to sending birthday gifts, starting preschool, going to weddings, etc. I want to continue trying to be more intentional with the relationships that I still have, that have been growing over this last year. I want to keep trying to take better care of myself. I want to keep teaching my kids about Jesus, and how to live like Him – and keep learning how to do that myself.

I’m at peace about 2021. I hope it’s amazing. I hope the Lord allows us to see some incredible things.

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