Under-achieving Over-achiever, turned Achiever.

I think we said it best at MOPs this week. An over-achiever, who consistently under-achieves. That’s me in a nutshell – maybe, it’s also you! If so, welcome – you’re seen here.

Here’s the thing – I truly am DONE being an under-achiever, I’m ready to succeed. But that BATTLE – and honestly, it’s a spiritual battle – to stay the same, acceptable, mediocre, nice young lady with declining health vs an acceptable, above (my personal) par, strong, healthy WOMAN…it’s a fight. I’m really trying to get through this fog, back to feeling how awesome I felt two weeks, ago, one week ago….but the devil doesn’t want us to thrive. Especially parents, especially moms. The last thing he wants us to do is thrive, because then we feel empowered to make sure our entire family thrives, and I DO NOT WANT the freaking devil to get the better of me. AGAIN.

I haven’t been as successful with my daily/weekly/monthly goals yet. This weird health thing became more confusing at the end of January, and even more so a couple days ago. I’ve been distracted with other lies from the devil, and trying to get into the groove of a new meal plan. None of this has been very orderly, and so it’s sort of had me looking in all directions, and not keeping my eyes forward. I haven’t lost my mental determination, or even my emotional drive. The physical realm is struggling, though.

I have still been keeping to some new habits, and I feel like I’ve been keeping new goals for the month that I hadn’t thought of, or written down lol. I haven’t exercised in a little over a week, so I’m probably going to make myself do that tonight to get it into my body’s rhythm. I’ve been starting to make more things from scratch – notably, pizza and brownies – so easy, and I know exactly what they’re made of. That’s a neat development for me. I’m not sure what I want to do with my breadmaker this month. I suppose I could just make a loaf of bread! Oddly enough, I haven’t done that yet. I’ve made dinner rolls, and cinnamon rolls, but no loaves.

I started drawing again, this month! I started following some random artists on Instagram, and one of them shared that she and a group of artist moms were starting this weekly art challenge for moms. I asked if I could still participate, even though I don’t really have any artistic skill – I enjoy being creative, and thought it would be a good way to challenge myself. Of course, I was told I could join in, and I was so excited with the idea I had for the first prompt, and I really practiced, and drew and redrew, and the final product ended up being really pleasing!

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The prompt was “My mom friends are…” and I got this image in my head, thinking about my MOPs group. Food on the table, cups of coffee, tea, cocoa, and just women talking…listening…being together. My mom friends are together. And while I was supremely pleased with my work, it turned out that a lot of other people liked it, too! The MOPs International account even liked it, commented about loving it, and then went on to share it on their Instagram, which was so wild to me. Such an encouraging response for someone like me (afraid to fail, hates criticism, would never have dreamed she’d be sharing stuff like this publicly, ever.) I mean, it’s only one drawing – I’m not opening up an Etsy shop any time soon. The next one might be garbage, idk. I mean, it’s a much simpler concept, so I don’t expect it to be too bad lol

So, I’m trying new things! Not even new – I’m trying things that I know I enjoy, but have stopped myself from exploring because of a fear of failure.

Tomorrow is a new day – It’s a proverbial February 1st. This was good, I feel ready to take on the rest of the month.

Thanks for reading, guys!

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