Hi, I’m Hannah.

Wife, mother of two, failed Usborne consultant, former barista, former Psychology student, etc. I’m a Christian, an Aquarius, and an optimistic realist (that’s another way of saying I’m someone who has given up all hope in this world, but still feels good about some things.) I have middling-to-conservative political views, I have what some may consider “legalistic religious” views on drinking, and I really couldn’t tell you one way or another if the Bible is against tattoos or not. I believe we have a free will, and whether or not my decisions or yours, ruin our respective lives are between us and God. Even if you don’t believe He’s real. You have the right to believe that, but unfortunately for you, it IS the one thing that I will assuredly tell you that you’re wrong about ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Oh, also that abortion takes away human life. You will never convince me of a scenario where that is okay. Sorry.

I like documentaries about serial killers, but fictional horror is almost too much for me (I can handle Hitchcock, but that’s about it.) I can’t stand most kids shows these days, and electronic toys make me cringe. I mostly feel like essential oils are a ruse, but I’m willing to give them a fair trial. So far they seem to be helping my daughter’s teething pain. I hate taking medicine, and typically would rather suffer than do anything about my pain. It’s a family trait.

I like to think of myself as someone who likes to read, but the reality is I need to teach myself to like reading again. I have shelves of books that I’ve never read, and would really like to, but the Millenial curse has taken me over, and frankly it’s just not in my wheelhouse these days.

I hate pornography, and I hate that the church isn’t more open about the fact that it’s a problem. I hate that we have to wait for secular studies to show that it deteriorates marriages for people to think it’s a problem.

I love seeing my daughter’s smiling face every morning, and throughout the day. I love making her laugh, and seeing her point out dogs, and cats, and anything else she finds interesting. I love holding her as she falls asleep, and rubbing my cheeks on her soft baby hair.

I’m really excited about Christmas this year, for some reason. I think it’s because this year has been so hard, and so terrible in so many ways, that I’m just want to bask in the peace, and quiet, and love of the holiday season. The world is generally a nicer place during the holidays. I want to be a part of that.

It’s been a pretty weird year, in many different aspects of life. On my birthday, I wrote on Instagram that I thought it was going to be a peaceful year. I was wrong. It’s been a very stressful year. Parental trials, marriage trials, relationship trials, personal trials, unexpected pregnancy…And each item in that list contains hefty stuff.

So, not a peaceful year. But that’s why I want to embrace, and enjoy the holiday season this year. It’s a blessing to have the chance to end the year with gratitude, generosity, and the hope of a fresh start.

And I’ve changed a lot this year. I think that’s why I felt like sort of outlining pieces of myself, because when I look at myself, there’s a person there that I’m not very familiar with. She looks familiar, sounds familiar, but there’s something…different. And I’m trying to figure out who she is.

How many times in our lives do we go through this process? Do we get better at it, so it goes by faster? I feel like it took me so many years to really get a handle on who I was, and it was great. I was confident, and felt secure. Then suddenly things have changed and I need to find some sense of personal stability again. Figure out what I like again.

So, there’s my latest blog post. I want to keep writing, it’s a good process for me.

 

 

Advertisement

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s