I’m watching documentaries again

I love documentaries. Popular topics for me include (but are not limited to) dancing, serial killers, and WWII. I’m watching one now about the first African American prima ballerina at the American Ballet Theatre. She became the first prima ballerina of color last year. That was quite shocking to me.

I think I’ve always sort of dreamed of being a dancer, which is why I enjoy these kind of documentaries.

I’ve been married for two and a half months, now. A friend asked me today (and everyone who hasn’t seen me since the wedding – or has,) “How’s married life?” My answers have varied, because saying “It’s great!” is what you’re supposed to say 😉 I told her it was awesome, and added that it was worth waiting for.

Married life was certainly worth waiting for. I told someone else that married life is “what I made to do.” Again, it’s true. Single life was not meant for me. I was created to love, and serve – be loved, and served. I’m not even three months in, but I have never felt more at home than I do as Tim’s wife. Yeah, planning meals is hard, but it’s fun. I’m kind of spoiled because Tim does the laundry, and it’s wonderful.

I’m learning a lot. I’m learning how vitally important it is to have a strong walk with Christ. Our spirituality is no longer just for us. What did I care if I didn’t walk closely with Jesus? It affected no one but myself, and I didn’t really care about myself. This is no longer the case. We need to be strong in the Lord for ourselves and each other. For our future children. So much is in the balance now, because of our marriage.

It’s intimidating, but it’s not…scary. I’m not afraid of realizing how important it is that we are now accountable to God for our choices in a way unlike any other. It’s hard to explain. It’s real, though. We have become our own separate unit…I used to be under my parents, Tim used to be under his. The dynamic was different. Now it’s us. Sure, we have support, and love, and guidance, and support from our families, but we now are our own entity. Accountable to God.

It really is hard to explain, but I’m sure anyone who is married, can understand what I’m trying to say.

We are learning how to be married. We are learning how to be friends. Tim and I haven’t known each other a year! We have so much to learn about each other! It’s amazing, and sometimes emotional, but mostly the greatest experience of my life.

I’ve never been more in love with a man than I am with Tim. I have never been more thankful for him to be the one I get to share life with.

I’ve started exercising again. My friend Sam and I go to the gym twice a week. I realized at some point that I am now truly capable of having babies someday, and my biological whatever just clicked, and decided to start taking better care of my body. It was weird phenomenon. My mother has been telling me since the age of 12 that I should take care of my body because some day I’m going to have baby. “Okay, mom.”

Now, because I waited to have sex until marriage, frankly, that’s actually true. Is that too forward? I don’t know. My doctor has certainly been pleasantly surprised by my life choices. At one point, I thought I might be pregnant, and she was like, “Well, you’ve been together for a while now, right?” I was like yeah, but we’ve only been married for two months. Forgetting in that moment how uncommon it is to do that. She repeated herself, saying that “Well yeah, but you’ve still been together, right?” Oh! Well, no. We waited. She was genuinely surprised.

That was a rabbit trail, sorry. Just trying to sum up married life so far.

I love it. I would not go back to being single, if I had the chance. If you are someone who desires to be married, keep trusting God. He is not keeping something from you, He is preparing something for you. Enjoy what He’s blessed you with thus far. Don’t resent Him. He knows your hearts desires. The Bible does not lie – He gives you the desires of your heart. Just always ask Him to make His desires your own, and you will always live in pleasant surprise. It’s not always easy, it’s really not. But oh, is it worth it.

Being married is a new adventure. It is not a flat path. It has hills. There are always new places to explore.

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