Those were the last words, of my last blog post on my old blog. I’ve been wanting to blog for a while, now, but for some reason, something was holding me back. I can’t post here, anymore. I’ve gone beyond pancakes now. If I keep blogging here, it’s as if I’m permitting my future self to get into a rut.
That’s how I felt, honestly. Life Over Pancakes was a process for me, the process of choosing substance over nothingness. I was a girl when I started that blog, 21 years old. I was infatuated with the wrong man, I was on a road to being completely consumed with myself, and I really did very little that wasn’t complaining, and/or having revelations about my spiritual condition. I was very honest, very open – perhaps too much so, sometimes.
Now, I’m two weeks away from being 25. A quarter of a century. I’ve been to England. I’ve been to Paris. I’ve met, and married an incredible man within the course of 8 months. In one week, we will be married for two months. Two. Months. It almost feels like a year has gone by…I haven’t even known him for a year! I started 2015 at a new coffee shop, as a simple barista, and I ended 2015 at a different coffee shop, with the title of Assistant Manager. There is no way that I could have made 2015 turn out to be so highly in my favor on my own. I didn’t, frankly. I started the year pretty hopeless, actually.
God is faithful. He saved me, He brought me back into the Light, and showed me His mercy, and love, and favor. He has blessed me, and I would be wary to give praise to anyone except the Lord for where I’m at today. It’s one of those situations where, you know that you’ll get stuck down by lightning if you don’t give glory where glory is due.
I am blessed. Tim’s and my wedding was perfect. Not a dry eye in the house, and God was honored, which is all that mattered.
Now, life is good. We’re happy. Being married works for me…I can’t imagine going back to being single by choice. I can’t imagine spending my life with any other man. We have a church that we enjoy. I used to not have good vibes about it, honestly, yet I felt the Holy Spirit tell me that it was where we were going to end up. End up there, we did. I’m so thankful. We are able to just take in for a little while. I’m learning to worship God again. I feel like my pastor cares about me, and my husband. It’s a healthy, safe environment for us.
I’m in school, again, and that’s going well so far. This past week was sort of rough in oe class, but each week I’m figuring out what I need to do to balance everything. Home, health, work, education, and my spiritual life. It’s a lot of responsibilities that I had before I was married, but now have become actually important to living now that I am married…which is strange, but hopefully someone can relate!
I’m a different woman. I’m a complete woman. I wont arrive until I get to glory, but until then, I hope that I always have the courage to move forward.
I’m looking forward to this new journey!